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BASIC INFORMATION

My name is Monika, but I prefer when people call me Ranti. My birthday is on 7th March, so I turned eighteen this year! (actually, not yet) I was born in Poland and still live in here, but I would like to visit other countries, especially Japan. I'm an introvert, and I don't have many friends, but I appreciate each of my acquaintances very much. Thank you for your support and understanding!

LIKES AND DISLIKES

Starting with the things I like, the first one will be singing and listening to music. In fact, it's one of my stims, I sing just to not wave hands at random moments. I love reading and writing books, especially fanfics about my favourite ships, usually from Inazuma Eleven, and I love to draw.

But we can't forget about collecting things, however, they are not random. It has to be my special interest or fixation, which is also related to autism. If there is such a thing that I really like, I will buy everything with it, no matter how useless it is.

I also highly appreciate energetic people, who act like puppies and don't pay attention to whether I listen to them, they just talk to me. Even if it's worthless things, in this way they make me want to open up to them, they build me a shelter, and I start to feel comfortable. After some time we really get along well, and I can be as weird as I want!

When it comes to things I don't like, one of them is definitely the crowd. It affects me very badly in terms of well-being and I start to get tired after an hour or two. The same is when I'm with my friends, but there are more than three of us. Of course, I'm really happy when we can all meet together.

Another thing is some food, I just can't take it into my mouth because of the texture, like mushrooms, olives, bacon, and so on. I also don't like it when someone scares me, I'm really sensitive to such things.

Speaking of being sensitive, I have a lot of trouble accepting criticism, expressing feelings and emotions, and it's hard for me to accept that things are not going my way. I also often exaggerate the words and actions of others, so please be kind, open and honest with me so I don't have to be afraid that I will do something wrong.

MENTAL HEALTH

This topic is a bit more complicated. I was born with BPD, autism and ADHD, and later came depression, anxiety and OCD. Because of that I was really sensitive as a child and I felt misunderstood. In addition, numerous problems at school led to a complete breakdown. Only thanks to friends and everyone I met online I felt better and started fighting, even though I move forward very slowly. Everything seems to be getting easier, so thank you very much!

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Do not interact if you like such ships as ranmasa, takuten, shinaka or if you ship yourself with Kirino or Shindou. It just makes me anxious and really doesn't help with my daily life.

The whole thing is about Kirino Ranmaru and Shindou Takuto. With the first one I built a strong bond, that nobody can ruin. I started to love this man as a kid, and he was never a bother to me. He made a shelter for me when I really needed, and was the only person who listened. I see him as my comfort and a person I want to spent the rest of my life with. I can't fall in love with anyone else, because our bond is that strong. If you can't accept that I have my own world where we are together, just leave my profile. Also, do not interact if you ship with him someone different than me or Shindou.

With Takuto it's really similar, but I don't like him romantically. He is me and I am him. He is the most comfortable person I could ever wish for. I can look at this boy for hours and it's never boring! Only ships I accept is rantaku (mostly) and munetaku, because Ibuki is one of my favourite characters and he really cares about Shindou.

Because of my mental health, I am more sensitive and susceptible to emotions than anyone else. It affects my daily life and how I perceive various things. My feelings can't be changed.

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AUTISM DICTIONARY

Special interest in autism is just intense interest.

Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers. For many younger children it's dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters, for me specific anime characters.

Autistic people can collect stuff with their special interest, and it's not important if they can't use it. They are happy just by having it. Another thing can be obsesive thinking. Talking only about their special interest may be boring for other people, because the autistics don't usually pay attention to topics different than that.

I can say it from my experience, if I could I would talk only about rantaku and my merch. But people are different, I am also changing and I started to like talking about different things, but not as much as I like rantaku. It just must be with my comfort or favourite person, so I enjoy every minute.

But obviously I have days when I think only about my special interest, so people don't want to talk with me because I'm mute. It's usually autistic meltdown, I just sit and do my stuff forgetting that I have friends. If they text I ignore, but when someone mentions rantaku I'm back to life immediately.

But remember, it depends on person, their mind and experience.

BPD DICTIONARY

Favourite person in BPD is when you're emotionally attached to a person. It's a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. It's usually up to the person.

We can only think about them and can be really depressed when they have other friends or don't give us what we want. When I had a FP, I couldn't stand that they didn't like me as much as I wanted.

I cried over it and was really dramatic. The most annoying thing is when we actually give up and the favourite person is gone. It's just an empty space left and we can't talk to them like before, so it can be really tiring to continue friendship, because we are not intrested at all. Even if we're sentimental. But remember, that we all different, some people can fight it and try to be friends again!

We can have two or even three FP's, and they can be anime characters or whatever we want. It's not that we can choose, this shit is random sometimes.

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